The attacks were, at their very base, people killing us for not being their version of Muslims. How's that hit you? 'Daddy had to die because a bunch of idiots didn't like the fact that we aren't Muslims like them.'
So freakin' stupid.
Here's a quote from another story from The Onion published right after 9-11. (again, language is crass, be warned)
Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell
"I was promised I would spend eternity in Paradise, being fed honeyed cakes by 67 virgins in a tree-lined garden, if only I would fly the airplane into one of the Twin Towers," said Mohammed Atta, one of the hijackers of American Airlines Flight 11, between attempts to vomit up the wasps, hornets, and live coals infesting his stomach. "But instead, I am fed the boiling feces of traitors by malicious, laughing Ifrit. Is this to be my reward for destroying the enemies of my faith?"